Why likes online suck|Why you need time offline

We shouldn’t have to feel we failed because a post has less likes or because people aren’t liking it. I hate how the internet at times makes me feel a failure when in fact I’m not, I shouldn’t have to feel constricted by likes, looking popular or have to be fake as fuck.

I shouldn’t have to feel if I’m not online more than 5 minutes I’ll be unfollowed or unsubbed, therefore, a failure. This year I’ve had so many social media burn outs it’s unreal!

You need time off your phone, you need time to be with friends and family.

Make the REAL world a priority.

At your gravestone it won’t say “here lies 50k followers” and if it did your 50k followers wouldn’t be there and would quickly move on because that’s the internet – it’s what’s in season, what’s trending, flavour town.

I’ve spent a week off posting on Instagram grid and only using the stories as I feel the pressure to have a post with more than 300 likes exhausting, a company only wants to work with people who seem popular and quite frankly it’s bulshit – people can buy likes or buy followers and those who try and communicate organically AKA me are penalised.

I use all social media – Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, Vero, Snapchat is Bryonannie, Mix.com, Pinterest – I enjoy it but the never ending social media pressure is just tedious at times. I enjoy it, I do.

I just don’t enjoy how people perceive success via likes when it’s about communication.

Don’t worry about numbers.

Don’t worry about getting people to watch your videos.

Don’t even think about it.

Don’t obsess over analytics.

Don’t refresh your page over and over again to see if you got more subs.

Don’t get mad at people for not supporting you.

You are going to burn yourself out. You are going to lose the joy of creating.

Here’s some somethings to think about that can help you to GROW.

Do you watch your videos and love them?

Are you proud of your content?

Do you believe in the value you are adding to the world with what you are creating?

Are you learning and researching ways to get better at tagging, creating thumbnails, and creating searchable content?

Are you passionate to teach, tell stories, bring encouragement or positivity or humor?

If you’ve made a lot of different kinds of videos, what was the most fun for you, and what got the most interaction? Have you considered focusing your channel on that?

Do you reply to all of your comments?

Thinking about these things is going to bring up the quality of your content. It’s a MUCH MUCH MUCH better use of your time than watching something that you might not even enjoy watching just so someone will watch your video.

Brands that can create aspirational ways for their community to interact with them not only create social media opportunities but also the chance to move beyond likes into something lasting.

Don’t you want people to watch your video because they love it?


“Humans devote about 30–40% of all speech to talking about themselves. But online that number jumps to about 80% of social media posts. That’s a huge jump!

Why? Talking face-to-face is messy and emotionally involved–we don’t have time to think about what to say, we have to read facial cues and body language.

Online, we have time to construct and refine. This is what psychologists call self-presentation: positioning yourself the way you want to be seen.

The feeling we get from self-presentation is so strong that viewing your own Facebook profile has been shown to increase your self-esteem.

First, it comes back to our own self image: 68% of people say they share to give others a better sense of who they are and what they care about.

But the biggest reason we share is about other people: 78% of people say they share because it helps them to stay connected to people.

Facebook, with more than 2 billion monthly active users is a great example of a platform where people love to like. In fact, since Facebook implemented the “Like” button, it has been used more than 1.13 trillion times, with that number growing by the day.

We do this because we want to maintain relationships. When we favorite and like each other’s posts, we add value to the relationship, and reinforce that closeness.

We also create a reciprocity effect. We feel obliged to give back to people who have given to us, even in a small way. We want to even up the scaleSourced from ‘psychology-of-social media’ Buffer.com


I like the internet, it’s a fabulous place but the pressure of it is unrealistic and exhausting so phone free time is a mental health requirement.


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13 thoughts on “Why likes online suck|Why you need time offline

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  1. This is a topic which is near to my heart… Many thanks!
    Exactly where are your contact details though? There’s definately a great deal to know about this issue.

    I like all the points you’ve made. I have been surfing on-line greater than 3 hours these days, but I by
    no means discovered any attention-grabbing article like yours.
    It’s beautiful price sufficient for me. Personally, if all web owners and
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  2. I get what you mean. I used to, and still do sometimes, get bothered by numbers, stats, likes or unfollows, wondering if people hate my writing or dislike me. I can compare my blog to others and always feel down about it, like I’m never going to be good enough. I’m better at not doing all this now, but it still happens. And we can get absorbed with it, so I love how you say to prioritise the real world and ‘real’ life. The crux is what matters to you, deep down as a person, not what you feel should be important or what others view as important. There are far bigger, more valuable things to focus on than the negativity that can come with all of this, even though I think the online world is absolutely amazing because it’s been a haven for me with chronic illness. There does need to be balance, and time offline to recalibrate. Great post! Just started following your blog too as I found you on Twitter 😊
    Caz xx


    1. Aww this means a lot! I totally get everything you’re saying, it feels like sometimes a void you get sucked into online when theres the real world outside waiting. I compare all the time and I know I’ll never match those standards but at the end of the day should it even matter. Its a great platform to help people talk and meet people though but definitely needs a balance (sorry to hear about your illness)


  3. Byrony, this is such a great post and an even better message! I stopped caring long ago about likes and follows because none of it actually makes any sense to me anyway! So I just write what I am passionate about and I interact as much as I can with the people who read my stuff and take the time to interact with me. I love the internet as well for its ability to connect people, but I can’t live by the numbers! Thanks so much for linking up with me!



    1. There’s also bots that people have to drive engagement, people who pay for likes and followers or pay people to take part in online engagement pods.. so organic growth is penalised over fake success.. therefore making being online a cage and cycle rather than enjoyable communicating with people


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