1. Shots. Ok, so a shot of jagermeister in a night club isn’t exactly a shot of caffeine at a baby group but whatever.
2. Always someone crying or arguing.
3. There’s definitely a girls boob out somewhere.
4. There’s random wet patches on the floor.
5. Everyone always looks forward to the carbs at the end – cheesy chips from the burger van or a mothers home made cinnamon biscuits – who cares!?
6. Spending money. Like, always money being spent perhaps, most likely, on things ending up on the floor or down yourself anyway.
7. You know there’s always a group of drunk supportive girls in the bathroom willing to share tampons, lipstick and dissing their ex? Well, there’s always a group of delirious parents willing to share baby wipes, hand sanitizer and dissing their kids sleeping routine.
8. Night club selfies? Well, there’s definitely a parent somewhere taking photos. Always. The baby smiled? Photo. The baby looked at you? Photo. Toddler running? Blurry photo. Quite like night club selfies, always blurry and someone always grimacing.
9. You know in a night club there’s going to be some questionable dancing, shapes thrown and music – guaranteed you will get Usher, Black Eyed Peas and definitely Beyonce ‘All the single Ladies.’ At baby groups there is always cringe worthy, awkward parents dancing to ‘Oh the Grand old Duke of York’ and ‘Hickory Dickory Dock.’
10. The next day after a night out you have a hangover, need to shower, sleep and eat some toast then dry heave sweaty into the toilet… After being at baby group you probably have touched a million items that have been in babies mouths, hopefully strengthening that immune system up… So, you get a cold anyway.
So, whatever you get up to, be safe out there guys! Please drink responsibility.