I had my beautiful baby boy ‘Oscar Dexter’ on May 23rd weighing 9lb 3oz size 56 cm head 95th percentile. (Very big!) 7.13pm on a Friday and to get him out was such a struggle but I achieved it.
He’s an inquisitive, active, hilarious and rambunctious child.
Even had a baby shower
I had a baby shower as my American friend, who has now moved, hosted one for me which was so lovely and thoughtful to be able to spend time with people, play games, eat cake and receive gifts. It was a pregnancy I was able to share, to talk about and to enjoy- there is no rule that says baby showers have to all about baby, you can make it all about the mum too. Celebrating every birth is becoming more popular, especially if there is a large gap in age. Many also host a “baby sprinkle” now which is a low key baby shower like a barbecue or a summer picnic with a pared down registry, prior to Oscars baby shower I’d never had one before.
A baby shower is much more than a party, it is about rejoicing in friendship and celebrating the start of the journey into motherhood. It is strengthening a vital support network that mum will need as she embarks on those difficult first few months and beyond. So don’t stress about the theme or the decorations, the most important message is that you are all there for your friend as she begins the trickiest and most wonderful job of all, being a mum. There is less time to luxuriate in the simple of joy of being pregnant the second time round and more time to mutter, “Dear god, my back feels like it’s going to split at the seams, please let this be over.”
The theme of the baby shower can be as involved or as simple as you like – you can really go to town with decorations, cakes, food and party games all in your chosen theme, or plan something more understated.
I have been incredibly fortunate to know good people in my time. Although some of the guests might appreciate it, a baby shower is not really the place for a nice merlot or a bucket load of cocktails.
Baby shower ideas
We played some easy party games to break the ice and get everyone talking something low key. We also played guess the flavour which is jars of pureed baby food and guests try and guess, guessed the date and weight of the baby, guess the belly width (not my favourite) and alsorts of fun things!
A really lovely idea is to set up a guest book so everyone can send personal messages to the baby. Finally (and possibly most importantly!) provide huge amounts of tea and cake. Mainly cake.
I had antibiotics due to prior strep B as well as having two sweeps and the rod previously so my waters eventually went at 5am EIGHT days over (by that point I wanted to destroy everyone yet was still obsessively cleaning, literally had the worse nesting instinct in the world) was at hospital for half 6 with zero contractions so had to be induced (wasn’t able to have a water birth with any pregnancy)
His father and my mother present and another midwife (who quite frankly was an arsehole but they routinely change over due to shifts so could’ve dealt with her the entire time), had just lacerations so his head took a beating so the first words my dad said was “oh look, he has a torpedo head” thanks dad.
I think what helped with just having lacerations was the perineum massage (TMI) Nobody tells you about this. Mothers like to focus on the rips and tears they endured without telling you there’s something you can try to prevent it beforehand although what works for some does not work for others as every female is different.
You can do it from around 36 weeks pregnant and it’s free. The perineum massage is something you do yourself using your own thumbs but it can help. It involves gently kneading the perineum, daily, to help increase the area’s ability to stretch, leading to less need for an episiotomy or natural tears. The Baby Center website outlineshow to do it.
I suffered post natal depression and found the experience of a second child exhausting and survived by adrenaline alone. I felt worse than I did the first time around. Sure, you’re older, which is part of it, because time is a cruel jokester who thinks it’s hilarious to add new, weird swollen knee into the mix but you’re now also chasing around child number one, feeding them, dragging them screaming out of bathtubs, bending down to wipe their butt over and over and over and over – well, you get my point – alongside child number two.
Night sweats I experienced after Oscar (and bleeding are among the normal things you can expect after childbirth). Waking up in a massive sweat, as if you’ve got the flu, can happen, two or three times a night, inexplicably. You may need to change the bedsheets during the night, it’s that bad. It’s perfectly normal and they will settle down after a few weeks.
Newborn Oscar wasn’t the worse but waking up every hour on the hour giving boob, expressing, bottle feeding. Trying to figure out what bottle the baby will take (how do they even know the difference?!). That nightmarish transition out of the poddle pod, moses basket, cot, cot bed, sleep training. He wasn’t the worse but hes’ a pain now with going to bed and you can’t take naps at 10 in the morning, because your older kid is staring at you, asking for yogurt and the other child is attached to your breast.
First day of school
Been sorting out my son for when he starts school FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER! He starts next week and won’t lie I’m slightly nervous as well as a bit gutted – he’s my one and only boy I remember giving birth to him, his first word, his little face when he rolled over for the the first time, the moment he met his sister and peed on her. And now he’s four. He’s starting school. He’s literally the most loudest, curious child in the world so I know school will be good for him to put his mind to something but at the same time I just feel a bit deflated.
I feel worried as he’s my first (possibly) only son and I feel it’s too soon yet at the same time I do know school will be good for him, he’ll progress quick and learn. I’m not the kind of mum who doesn’t want her child to grow up. If anything, I’m the opposite. When my son was a baby, I willed time to move faster so that I could have a fun toddler to spend time with rather than a ‘I’m giving nothing back to you’ newborn baby.
Bought his shoes from Clarkes – he’s even got PE shoes! He has a full new set of personalised items from Funky Pigeon plus labelled his items with Stikets! Hes now 3 stone worth of a 4 year old; recites the alphabet, snitches on his sister, tells people not to be negative and can sometimes be a giant pan in the arse but my days we love him!
I love having chats with him and being surprised at what he knows – they are the people we care most about in the world and want to protect the most so it would be surprising if we didn’t worry!
I know they grow so fast and starting big school is just another chapter.
Today you are you
That’s truer than TRUE
There is no one alive who is you-er than YOU