An apology poem to my eldest daughter.

Dear daughter,

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for all you have been through at such a young age,

When you’ve been hurt like the slicing of your finger on a page.

I love you with all my heart,

I always did right from the start.

When I first discovered you growing in me I was so young,

Yet you set me free.

You had no father but trust me I tried so hard,

Although whether biological or non they both left your heart in shards.

I miss those simple days back then,

Just us.

Your brother came along and we were a happy family.

I hate how he left you.

I hate how they both did.

You’re full of life, kindness and love.

Yet you can be full on and give your brother a shove.

I don’t fully understand why things have happened how they did,

I wish I handled it better,

You stayed out in the open, you carried on while I hid,

I wasn’t well, I wasn’t right,

You kept me going for the fight,

Your sister came along you took the news in your own way,

I know you worried but she’s ok, she’s out now she can stay.

I haven’t been perfect I know it.

Quite frankly I’ve been fucking shit.

So, I know it doesn’t mean much but I’m so proud of you.

You’re incredible.

Can’t believe I made you.

I know you love me too and I hope one day we can make it through.